I don't want to write about this because my heart hurts when I think about it. People say its therapeutic to write though so I'm going to give it a shot.
On Monday Matt's Grandma Nancy basically had a heart attack while driving. She didn't make it.
Rather than focusing on how she died and how crappy our week has been I just want to jot down a few things about her that I'll never forget.
Nancy watched our kids for us every Tuesday and sometimes Wednesday too while I worked from home. Which means I got to see her, at a minimum, once a week.
She didn't just "watch our kids". That's the biggest understatement I could possibly make. A few of the many things she did for us:
She made the kids laugh and had all sorts of funny sayings with Charlie. Whenever I hear him say 'see you later alligator, after a while crocodile' I think of Nancy. Or 'okie dokie little slokie' I think of Nancy.
She had certain things she always made for us. Every time Charlie asks for a scrambled egg for breakfast from now until forever I'll think of Nancy. Or peanut butter and jelly, and goldfish, and raisins (said in that order always), I'll think of Nancy.
For Matt it was always pork chops. She would show up to babysit our kids and smuggle in a grocery bag full of stuff to make pork chops. Matt and I would get home from work and yummy delicious food would magically be on the table.
So while the rest of the world is paying for daycare we had this wonderful woman coming into our home, cleaning it, loving our kids, feeding us, and refusing any compensation or anything in return.
Nancy was by far the most selfless person I've ever had to opportunity to spend time with. She did things for other people humbly, happily and insistently. Her hobby was her family. I didn't know that could even be someones hobby until I met Nancy.
Unfortunately, it always takes someone leaving to really appreciate how great they were. Every week I thanked Nancy for all the things she did for us. I just wish I'd of had the opportunity to thank her for all the things that aren't really things that she did for us and taught us.
My mind has been all over the place since this happened. I've barely slept and if you know me you know that's nuts. I'm a sleeper.
Tonight I ran a few errands and came home without my purse. I drove back to all the places where I was and it's no where to be found. I honestly don't know if I left my car unlocked at my last stop and it was stolen or if I simply walked away from it at the post office.
When I was canceling all my credit cards tonight each company would ask 'was the card stolen?' To which I'd say 'Maybe? I really can't be sure.' I've never felt this spacey in my life. I'm just having such a hard time imagining our lives without her.
I really don't know how to end this post other than to say man things suck right now.
If Nancy was still here she'd be calling me to tell me she'd be here at 8 am so I could go get a new license and cell phone without dragging my kids along. I'd say no you don't have to do that. She'd say oh its no problem and hang up the phone before I could argue anymore. And she wouldn't really come at 8. She'd come at 7:30 so I could shower and eat breakfast without having to take care of Charlie's breakfast or Annie's bottle.
What I wouldn't give for one more argument like that with Grandma Nancy.
On Monday Matt's Grandma Nancy basically had a heart attack while driving. She didn't make it.
Rather than focusing on how she died and how crappy our week has been I just want to jot down a few things about her that I'll never forget.
Nancy watched our kids for us every Tuesday and sometimes Wednesday too while I worked from home. Which means I got to see her, at a minimum, once a week.
She didn't just "watch our kids". That's the biggest understatement I could possibly make. A few of the many things she did for us:
- She did our laundry and dishes.
- She cooked us dinner or brought us her leftovers from the night before so I wouldn't have to cook dinner.
- I hate to admit this but she washed our sheets. Pretty much every week she washed our sheets. I'd tell her not to but there was no point. Nancy did what she wanted to do.
- She read my calendar and told me that she'd be here at such and such time to watch the kids so I wouldn't have to drag them along to whatever appointment I had going.
She made the kids laugh and had all sorts of funny sayings with Charlie. Whenever I hear him say 'see you later alligator, after a while crocodile' I think of Nancy. Or 'okie dokie little slokie' I think of Nancy.
She had certain things she always made for us. Every time Charlie asks for a scrambled egg for breakfast from now until forever I'll think of Nancy. Or peanut butter and jelly, and goldfish, and raisins (said in that order always), I'll think of Nancy.
For Matt it was always pork chops. She would show up to babysit our kids and smuggle in a grocery bag full of stuff to make pork chops. Matt and I would get home from work and yummy delicious food would magically be on the table.
So while the rest of the world is paying for daycare we had this wonderful woman coming into our home, cleaning it, loving our kids, feeding us, and refusing any compensation or anything in return.
Nancy was by far the most selfless person I've ever had to opportunity to spend time with. She did things for other people humbly, happily and insistently. Her hobby was her family. I didn't know that could even be someones hobby until I met Nancy.
Unfortunately, it always takes someone leaving to really appreciate how great they were. Every week I thanked Nancy for all the things she did for us. I just wish I'd of had the opportunity to thank her for all the things that aren't really things that she did for us and taught us.
My mind has been all over the place since this happened. I've barely slept and if you know me you know that's nuts. I'm a sleeper.
Tonight I ran a few errands and came home without my purse. I drove back to all the places where I was and it's no where to be found. I honestly don't know if I left my car unlocked at my last stop and it was stolen or if I simply walked away from it at the post office.
When I was canceling all my credit cards tonight each company would ask 'was the card stolen?' To which I'd say 'Maybe? I really can't be sure.' I've never felt this spacey in my life. I'm just having such a hard time imagining our lives without her.
I really don't know how to end this post other than to say man things suck right now.
If Nancy was still here she'd be calling me to tell me she'd be here at 8 am so I could go get a new license and cell phone without dragging my kids along. I'd say no you don't have to do that. She'd say oh its no problem and hang up the phone before I could argue anymore. And she wouldn't really come at 8. She'd come at 7:30 so I could shower and eat breakfast without having to take care of Charlie's breakfast or Annie's bottle.
What I wouldn't give for one more argument like that with Grandma Nancy.
6 comments:
I'm really sorry for your loss. Sounds like the world lost an extra special person this week. We all lose a little bit by not having the chance to know her the way you did. Let me know if you need anything, like to take your kids while you go get a new license. :)
As you know, I'm a big believer in "blog therapy"! I hope it helped. I know I really enjoyed reading what you wrote about Nancy. She sounds like an amazing person. I'm sending you lots of hugs!!
Rings, my thoughts and prayers are with you. I really think there is nothing worse in life than losing a loved one. Just keep all of these memories close to your heart at all times and she'll never be far.
my heart hurts for all of you right now - i had the privilege of meeting grandma nancy a time or two and she was just as lovely as you described. thank you for sharing stories of your time with her, it's a wonderful way to memorialize her gifts to your family.
Jeannette, that was beautifully said, and all of it so true. She loved you and the kids so much and I know she got as much out of taking care of them as they did. We'll all treasure our memories of her.
Thank you for the wonderful post, it was a wonderful tribute.
Matt and Jeannette, I am truly sorry for your loss. The way you wrote that was from the heart and I'm sure she would have loved every word you wrote.
My sincerest condolences go out to all of you.
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